


What Fires Fall and Pain has Come

by Eirenne Saijima (ladypoetess)



Category: Wheel of Time - Robert Jordan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-24
Updated: 2014-12-24
Packaged: 2018-03-03 06:14:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2841002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladypoetess/pseuds/Eirenne%20Saijima
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This belongs in the <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/series/57128">Endverse</a> AU by <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/users/Tremaile/pseuds/Tremaile">Tremaile</a>.</p>
<p>I wanted to write a Taim/Logain fic for Tremaile, but I didn't so much want to do the legwork of getting it set up. Then I realized that the work was already done, so long as I went to play in the Endverse AU.</p>
    </blockquote>





	What Fires Fall and Pain has Come

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Tedronai](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tedronai/gifts).
  * Inspired by [The World May Burn](https://archiveofourown.org/works/973000) by [Tedronai](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tedronai/pseuds/Tedronai). 



> This belongs in the [Endverse](http://archiveofourown.org/series/57128) AU by [Tremaile](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Tremaile/pseuds/Tremaile).
> 
> I wanted to write a Taim/Logain fic for Tremaile, but I didn't so much want to do the legwork of getting it set up. Then I realized that the work was already done, so long as I went to play in the Endverse AU.

The fight continued. The Seanchan advanced; the resistance held until they broke and then retreated; channelers died on both sides. Regroup. Repeat.

The village of Lugagde had gone from being the camp for Taim's renegade dreadlords to the de facto Black Tower in Exile. Situated on the eastern shore of the River Erinin, It was close enough to Tar Valon and the White Tower to benefit from many of the same protections, but far enough away that the Amyrlin was not so uneasy with their presence. Neither group of male channelers would tolerate a single leader - the renegade dreadlords who had returned to the Light would follow only Taim, and the loyal Asha'man would just as surely not follow only Taim. The Asha'man who were also Warders could take some instruction from the Amyrlin or their Aes Sedai, but the Black Tower - what was left of it - needed its own leader.

In the end, it was decided that Taim and Logain were the best choices for jointly leading the Black Tower. Each held the loyalty of substantial groups of the men, and those that did not fall neatly into either camp were at least able to trust that the two would keep each other in line. Taim was not nearly so hot headed as Logain, but Logain wasn't as calculating as Taim; it was a good balance.

Most of the men were unaware of the other balance that existed between Taim and Logain; the Black Tower leaders stepped carefully to assure that it remained that way. What comfort they drew from one another in private was their own affair, and well they knew that there would be those in either camp of the men who would see their liaison as betrayal. Perhaps less so now than would have been the case in the past, but it was still a confrontation that neither particularly wanted to have.

"Logain, where is your... counterpart?" Egwene Al'Vere, the Watcher of the Seals, the Flame of Tar Valon, the Amyrlin Seat looked up from her stack of reports with a quirked eyebrow. "I don't have time to waste on having this meeting twice today."

"You won't need to, Mother." Logain's reply was neutral, if not as smooth as Taim usually was in these meetings. "He will be here shortly, I am certain."

"Certain?" the slightly acerbic question came from the woman in the red stole at the Amyrlin's shoulder, the Keeper of the Chronicles, Silviana Sedai. "How are you certain?"

"He was out gathering reconnaissance for me the last day or two, but not in any area that has been a hotbed of fighting lately. There is no reason I can foresee for a delayed return." Logain replied mildly.

"I've learned to expect unexpected problems, Logain." Egwene sniffed. "Since the Seanchan have learned of the use of gateways from the Aes Sedai they have taken as damane, they have developed the annoying habit of turning up even more unexpectedly than they did before. But very well; we will wait another few minutes for Taim. After that, we can simply begin and you can inform him of any decisions that were made when he does decide to return."

"Yes, Mother." Logain's voice did not betray the flash of annoyance he felt, though he was unsure who was more the target, the Amyrlin or Taim.

He didn't have long to stew in his annoyance, as the distinctive sound of Taim's boots on the stone floors of the White Tower reached his ears. He tried not to think about the fact his heartbeat quickened in anticipation of seeing the man; time enough for those thoughts later.

"My apologies for my lateness... Mother." Taim's voice skipped slightly as he encountered the stony faces on the two women and the unreadable face on Logain, and it sounded weary. He bowed stiffy as he approached the table. "Shall we begin?"

Silviana made a sound in her throat that, in most company and circumstances, would be considered rude and Egwene lifted a hand to forestall her as she began the meeting without further preamble. "The reports the Greens are sending in..."

===

"I think that is all we need to cover for this meeting." Egwene sighed and knuckled her back as she stood up. "Please do send your reconnaissance report to the Gray sister in charge of organizing the eyes and ears of the war effort, Taim."

Both men made shallow bows and left the room as the women turned to go over some other paper that was presumably unrelated to the war with the Seanchan - though Logain could hardly see how anything was unrelated at this point.

"No scolding, then?" Taim's voice was quiet, despite the smooth stone walls and floors.

"Do I need to?" Logain asked just as quietly.

"I suppose not. I'm fairly certain I already know what you would say." Logain would have seen the characteristic almost smile on Taim's face, had he bothered to turn and look as the man spoke.

"I do want to know where you were, however."

"I was doing precisely what I told you I would be: I was gathering intelligence for the combined war effort." Taim's voice had gone smoothly neutral, a sign that Logain knew meant he was hiding something.

"And? What else were you doing?"

"Leave it, Logain."

Logain fell silent then as they walked, passing the odd Novice in some piece of white - with all the new women the White Tower had accepted on the Amyrlin's orders, there didn't seem to be sufficient white dresses for them all. There were times that Logain wasn't sure he was looking at an Initiate of the White Tower or a servant, at least until he spotted one of the white bands of cloth tied around an arm or holding back a woman's hair. Just the same, he did not want to talk in front of them, servant or Novice either one.

When they reached the bottom of the Tower grounds, Logain started to turn for the Traveling Grounds but found Taim walking in the opposite direction, toward the east of the city. Shrugging, Logain followed. If the man wanted to walk back to Lugagde, so be it.

"We were ambushed." Taim's voice was pained, though still quiet. "The Black Tower lost one, the White Tower lost three."

"What happened?" Concern laced Logain's voice, but he kept walking and did not turn to look at Taim.

"We were looking for camps of resistance in the areas that border the northern edge of the Seanchan expansion. There were supposed to be some Borderlanders pinned down there, harried by groups of those flying beasts, raken. No real Seanchan push in the area, but enough to keep them from evacuating to a safer area. I had chosen out two Dedicated and one full Asha'man to accompany me, and Ashmanaille Sedai brought another Gray sister and two Accepted with her that she said were likely to test for the shawl soon." Taim took a breath, sounding a trifle unsteady to Logain's ears, though he said nothing and simply waited for Taim to continue.

"It started out safe enough, with Ashmanaille and the other Gray making horizontal gateways for viewing the target areas. It is some trick they've worked out, the Grays; they make a small gateway high up in the air to look through, on the assumption that this is safer than going directly to a location where there might be danger. It was supposed to be safe..." Taim's voice trailed off, sounding more haunted than Logain had heard in some time, perhaps ever.

"What happened?" When no answer came from the other man, Logain stopped and laid a hand on his arm. "Mazrim?"

"It was purely bad timing; Ashmanaille's gateway opened just within sight of a raken patrol. It was higher than the patrol, but still within range of the One Power, apparently. The raken was carrying a sul'dam and damane and the damane got a ball of fire off before Ashmanaille - before any of us - realized they were there. One of the Dedicated and one of the Accepted were standing on the side of the gateway that intersected the path of the fire. They fell, burning." Taim's voice flat, but at the last he closed his eyes and turned his head. "I can still hear them screaming as they fell, Logain."

"Oh, Light." Logain breathed. "Wait, you said there were four lost on the scouting mission. What else happened?"

Taim didn't answer at first, but instead began to move toward Lugagde again. After several minutes of walking in silence, Taim continued speaking.

"I vetoed the use of the horizontal gateways for the remainder of the mission since the Seanchan were plainly aware of their use. Instead we did something more traditional and used a gateway to get into the back area of the resistance camp we had been scouting." Taim paused again as a group of soldiers and female channelers moved by on the road west out of Lugagde; probably Yellows with wounded, he thought absently.

They didn't speak again until they had wound their way to Logain's tent in the heart of the Black Tower camp. Logain was mildly surprised at the destination, knowing that Taim usually preferred to be in his own territory when they were alone, but rather than address it Logain just let it go. If Mazrim Taim wanted to be in Logain's tent there was very likely to be a good reason why.

Taim paced the length of the tent a few times before sitting down heavily on Logain's cot, fatigue writ in his every movement. When Logain crouched down in front of him and offered a wine cup, Taim took it without a word and drained it.

"The resistance camp was overrun. We were too late, Logain. I was shot in the side by one of their archers barely after I'd cleared the gateway and I went down." Taim fingered a hole in the black coat he wore, the flesh under it having obviously been Healed. "I'm not sure exactly what happened after that. The Dedicated that was with me has been training with Flinn, it seems, and he got me back on my feet enough to stumble through the new gateway the other Asha'man had tossed up in the confusion. He also grabbed Ashmanaille and hauled her through, but she saw the same thing I did." This time Taim's voice was anything but flat, instead hard and brittle and quavering with emotion.

"The Accepted they took captive, but it seems like they only had one sul'dam with them who wasn't already linked to a damane. The other Gray sister who was there tried to fight back when the Accepted was taken. Light, Logain, they bound her with air and set her on fire. She couldn't even scream as she burned." Taim's voice was ragged as he ran a hand through his hair. "She saw us disappear through the gateway, saw us leave her there."

Logain watched the pain and guilt play over Mazrim Taim's face, and his heart echoed the emotions. He knew Taim wasn't done speaking, wasn't yet done lancing this wound, and so he said nothing but instead laid a hand on Taim's knee.

"Ashmanaille was insensate with grief and rage when we returned to the Tower grounds. I had to restrain her myself, because the other two I had with me were not strong enough to match her. I took her to the Healing grounds and left her with the Yellow sisters there. That is why I came late to the meeting; I could not leave her to get herself injured or killed and had I simply left her to the others that is what would have happened. We- I lost too many today for me to countenance losing another so carelessly!"

Logain said nothing at the sudden heat in Taim's voice, uncharacteristic in the smaller man, he simply took the empty goblet and then reached out to cup the other man's neck in a gentle, firm grip. After a moment of heightened tension, Taim let out a hard breath and let his head be drawn forward to press against Logain's. They stayed that way for a long moment, Logain's hand gently massaging the back of Taim's neck, Taim's breathing gradually evening out as they sat together.

"Mazrim-" Logain began, but Taim shook his head, forestalling further speech. When Logain would have started again, Taim silenced him with fierce, desperate kisses and clutching hands.

Logain understood. Without further prompting, he drew the other man into a tight embrace and, for awhile, they both forgot the world and the horrors wrought upon it. When nightmares of fire and burning took Taim, Logain would wrap his body around the smaller man and try his best to soothe the tension away. It couldn't possibly be enough, but it had to be for now. Light, let it be enough.

**Author's Note:**

> I will have you know that I sobbed brokenly for ages while writing this fic. I happen to know you like all the angst and pain you can pack into a fic, Tremaile, so here you go - all the angst and pain I could write and still see through the tears enough to type!


End file.
